#YesGod: Jennifer’s Story

I believe every Christian actively following God has a #YesGod story! This #YesGod story is someone’s powerful testimony of declaring Yes to doing God’s will and stepping outside of their comfort zone to do amazing things for the Kingdom of God. For the month of May, I will be featuring young women, like myself, that have demonstrated bold faith and are actively pursuing God’s will for their life and ultimately declaring Yes to God! 

Say Yes! Yes to God

Last Saturday, my friend and I had one of those late night conversations about life. I don’t know how we got on the subject, but I proceeded to tell her everything I learned through my suffering. I told her what I gained through my experience of getting to the other side of joy.

The next morning, a guest pastor delivered a message I needed to hear. From the moment I heard the title, “Making Sense of Suffering,” my friend and I knew this message was intended for us. The pastor began to preach and every single point he hit was my whole process of getting to joy. I thought of everything I’ve gone through and all of the work I’ve done to get to this point. I thought of the time I said yes to God.

I accepted that I was sick. I accepted that it would be a long time before I could actually feel like myself again.  For two years it seemed Mother Nature had a personal vendetta against me. Every month she would rise up in a tortuous rage and each time I would try to get up, she would knock me down. At the age of 23, I was diagnosed with uterine fibroids, several ovarian cysts and endometriosis at the same time.  Words could not express my physical and emotional pain. To learn more about my journey, click here and here.

But I couldn’t understand why I didn’t feel anything at all after my diagnosis.  There was no denying sickness made me numb, depressed and tired. Eventually, I stared at a crossroads. The enemy was on one side and God was on another. The voice of God began to speak to me, but the enemy would get louder.  It was at this point I knew I had to say yes. I needed to say yes. I kept hearing the phrase: “Joy comes in the morning.” I could either continue to live in despair or I could let God pull me out of the darkness and into this morning I kept hearing so much about. I had a choice. And I chose to say yes.

But saying yes did not mean I was instantly cured. For two years I hoped and prayed and wished for an answer. I soon learned the more I waited on God; the more God waited on me. I had to do the work. Trust me, it was not easy. There were days I didn’t want to get out of bed, but I said yes. There were days I became insecure, because I saw my peers living and my life stopped, but I said yes. In the midst of me crying out to God each time I received bad news about my condition, I said yes. After each hospital visit, after each procedure and after each dose of medication I said yes. Saying yes meant consciously applying my faith in order to have confidence that this space was temporary.  Saying yes became so routine that when my condition worsened, applying my faith became easier. I was making sense of my suffering.

I first accepted the truth about my situation and gained a better understanding of the true definition of God for myself.  I’m a firm believer that we cannot change unless we are honest with ourselves. I knew God did not intend for me to just stand on top of my mess, I needed to confront it and learn to clean it up. There were many things in my life that needed to change. I began to study and find scriptures to combat my negative thinking. I continued to consult with God about my new direction and gained an inner circle of people who encouraged me not to give up.

But something supernatural happened when I said yes. Every Sunday I would receive powerful messages about character development, fruits of the Spirit, the true definition of God and applied each of these lessons to my life. When I exercised my faith, I regained my strength. God was giving me the tools to get through my storm. Joy comes in the morning became my mantra, my theme for life.

I felt the same way sitting in church with my friend last Sunday. I instantly became overwhelmed at the thought of everything I’ve gone through when the pastor ended his sermon. When my friend and I looked at each other, I could tell my process had come full circle. Everything I told my friend the night before manifested in the sermon we just heard. It was the first time I could clearly articulate my testimony with conviction. It wasn’t just about having a testimony about fibroids. God told me it was much bigger.

At the end of service, my friend said that sermon was a confirmation. I said, no, it was a culmination. It was a culmination of my process of achieving joy. I knew God was pleased. I had passed the test. Last Sunday my morning came and the sun was shining bright.

Say yes, yes to God.

IMG_1961

Advertisements